While it may come off as a bit jaded, getting advice and planning for a split before you file for divorce is actually practical.
When you are thinking about leaving your spouse, you need to have a good exit plan to protect yourself and your financial future. Pre-divorce planning isn’t about taking your spouse for all he or she is worth but making wise choices while your mind is clear. With this plan, you will set out all the aspects of your life, from where you currently are to where you want to be. The better your plan is, the better your position will be in your life post-divorce. Here are the key areas you should consider when crafting your plan.
You can’t rely on things like alimony and child support when it comes to your life post-divorce. There’s never a guarantee you will get what you think you need from your former spouse when it comes to financial support. Even if your spouse is agreeable and you expect the divorce to be amicable, his or her financial situation could change, rendering your ex-spouse unable to help you. Be realistic about your finances so you know which assets you can take care of and which ones you can’t when it comes to the division of property.
Place a high priority on your career plans to safeguard your financial future post-divorce. If you’re currently working but your salary isn’t enough to support you on its own, re-plan your career while you can. Do whatever it is you need to do, such as going back to school or getting career counseling, as soon as possible. It’s best if you can do this before asking for divorce because it will be much harder once you’re down to just your income.
If you have children, prepare as best as you can to tell them about the divorce. Learn ways to help them understand how their lives will change and how to help them cope. Take a look at divorce resources involving children so you’re as ready as you can possibly be to speak to your kids about what is going to happen.
Your support system
A solid support system during your divorce can be a lifesaver, especially if the process is going to be rough. News of your marriage ending will cause different reactions from your family and friends. Some people may feel threatened or take the unfair position that your marriage’s failure is somehow your fault. Others, however, will be there for you no matter what happened. Knowing who the latter people are is important, as they are the ones you will want to turn to if you need some support.
Your future goals
Divorce is the death of something, and this often includes goals you and your spouse had for your lives and the future. This can make it easy to get drawn into depression and other negative feelings. You can help avoid some of this by creating new goals that are yours and yours alone for your future. Consider your desires, your interests and what you really want to do with the rest of your life. If you have something positive to work toward, it will make a significant difference in your emotional health.
You can speak to an attorney about a possible divorce even if you’re not ready to ask for one quite yet. A visit with an attorney can shed some light on what may happen in your divorce, so if you haven’t done so already, schedule a meeting with one if you’re planning to leave your spouse.