When a New Mexico divorce or separation is difficult, it can be challenging for former spouses to maintain a relationship of any kind. When children are involved, however, parenting continues even after the union between the spouses has ended. Therefore, it is important to build and keep positive communication skills as parents. If you feel that your parenting communication skills are lacking or could use improvement, here are four things you can try.
Share information about your children
Sharing important information about your kids with your former spouse is crucial, but it can be challenging at times. Remember to keep your conversation focused on parenting matters as this will help take some of the stress out of communicating with your ex. Keep your thoughts focused on what needs to be talked about regarding your children instead of old arguments or what is going on in your personal lives. Share what you need to share about your children only, and keep your other thoughts for a different time and place. If you do have something on your mind that has to do with the legal end of post-divorce parenting, you should probably discuss that with your family law attorney before bringing it up with anyone else.
Keep your ex updated
Children continually evolve and grow, with their agendas becoming more complex over time. When parents are no longer on the same page when it comes to the details of their children’s lives, such as everyday schedules, clothing sizes and even vital medical information, it’s the children who may suffer as a result. You and your former spouse must keep each other updated to help ensure the best outcomes for your children. Consider maintaining a shared record you both can access, where the information is all stored in one place and you can both be notified of changes that are made. This eliminates the need to try to scroll through a bunch of texts or read over long emails to find the right information.
Remember to listen
Listening is a big part of any relationship, and this includes post-divorce parenting. You and your ex will need to make big decisions for your children, so you need to be able to speak and listen to one another to reach a quicker resolution. Simply yelling at your spouse will achieve nothing, and it will make it more difficult to reach any sort of agreement. This may be easier to do in written forms of communication, such as email. When you write, it is often easier to break things down to just facts, leaving less room for unrelated comments that just serve to upset your or your former spouse.
Think before you speak
This one is true in life in general, but it’s especially relevant when it comes to parenting between divorced spouses. There is a lot of emotion surrounding a divorce, and it’s all too easy to let some of that emotion slip into a conversation. However, that doesn’t help your children at all, and they are where your focus needs to be. Take one minute to think about what you’re going to say before you speak, and consider how to express your thoughts in the most productive way. Remember that tone matters, too, which is something you’ll have to really consider when you’re using written forms of communication, where your tone may be harder for someone else to decipher.
Having strong parental communication with your former spouse is the best possible situation for your children. Work on improving your skills as much as you can, as your children will be the ones who will benefit greatly from your efforts