While the thought of going through a divorce is probably enough to make you want to head for the hills sometimes, there are ways to handle the process in a healthier, less stressed-out manner. You will likely make some mistakes along the way, but there are a few common ones you can avoid to help make this time less difficult.
Not participating in mediation
Mediation may not work for everyone, but it’s worth a try. If you can solve your issues here, you won’t have to deal with a judge making all those decisions for you. Go into mediation with an open mindset and be willing to compromise. You’ll have a better chance of making mediation work if you are willing to concede some issues and pick your battles wisely.
Letting your anger control you
Your emotions can cost you in the long run when it comes to your divorce. The more you let your emotions take control, the longer your divorce is likely to drag out. Lashing out when you’re angry, for example, could end mediation and result in you going to court. At that point, the proceedings will go on for longer and put more of a strain on your finances. Work on letting your anger go or at least controlling it enough that it doesn’t negatively impact your divorce case.
Giving up on what you need
While you do need to compromise here and there, you don’t want to give up on the important issues that will impact your future and the future of your children. When it comes to the big issues, make sure you are getting what you need to start a new life that isn’t fraught with financial struggle.
Not seeing the big financial picture
Of course, as covered above, you need to set yourself up for a new life, and that includes having your financial ducks in a row. Don’t make the mistake of paying too much for material items just because you’re attached to them. Paying $6,000 in additional legal fees because you dragged out a settlement over a $2,000 bedroom set just doesn’t make any sense. When you’re in the midst of mediation, always be strategic and consider all the angles.
Only listening to family and friends
Your friends and family can offer some good advice, and they’re also a great support network. However, there are a lot of misunderstanding and myths surrounding divorce law in New Mexico. Your best source of legal information will always be from your attorney, who will be current on these laws and know how they apply to the specific circumstances of your case.
Not planning ahead
Cover expenses and decisions that may arise in the future so you don’t have to keep returning to court or mediation after the divorce has been settled. This includes areas such as which parent is paying for your child’s college and anything else he or she will likely need one day.
Putting off tough decisions
Divorce is an emotional experience, especially when it involves children. It is better for you and your kids if difficult decisions, such as visitation and custody, are handled as quickly as possible. When you drag out custody and visitation, it puts more stress on your children, and it can also make it more difficult to reach an agreement with your former spouse.
Using an experienced family law attorney will help you sidestep some of the common pitfalls listed above. If you haven’t already done so, speak to a divorce attorney in New Mexico about your case. Even if you’re opting for mediation, an attorney can help you navigate the waters and make those tough choices.